dibs has a great large _______

maybe a bit too suggestive a title for this post.

in Weinreich’s Geshischte far di Yiddishe Sprache, he claims that languages show their depth in different ways. some languages have 40 words for snow, yiddish has 3 words for belly button, hebrew has one word, mirpeset, to describe an outdoor space of an apartment, and english has about 10, none of which adequately what dibs and cody have at their place, which is best described as a menagerie without aminals or birds.

is it a patio? a deck? a veranda? a balcony? a roof deck? a terrace? a porch? a den of iniquity (alas, no)?

let’s investigate a bit further…

a terrace is: “A raised level place for walking, with a vertical or sloping front or sides faced with masonry, turf, or the like, and sometimes having a balustrade.” level place-check; sloping sides-nope; balustrade? alas no. maybe when dibs moves out to the ‘burbs and grows a garden he’ll get a terrace.

a veranda(h) perhaps: “An open portico or light roofed gallery extending along the front (and occas. other sides) of a dwelling or other building,” again fold. dibs has no porticoes (A pergola in a garden)

patio: “A paved roofless area adjoining and belonging to a house; esp. a garden terrace.” nope, not paved. and no garden.

balcony: “A kind of platform projecting from the wall of a house or room, supported by pillars, brackets, or consoles, and enclosed by a balustrade.” also indirect. (btw, balustrade has the greatest OED definition ever: “A row of balusters, surmounted by a rail or coping, forming an ornamental parapet or barrier along the edge of a terrace, balcony, etc.” is architecture still a part of the english language?”

the best word i found is loggia: “A gallery or arcade having one or more of its sides open to the air.” keith suggests dibs and cody should open a video store on their mirpeset and call it videologgia to compete with videology down the street.

dibs, though, wants to call it a menagerie without birds. in doing so he shifts the value system from what he has to what he has not; he has chosen to define the form of his life by negative space, absence, and lack. but through this he is also ascribing a telos to the apartment: the apartment will finally become a home when there are birds outside, his living space will finally be reified. but what will Cody due in these reificatory times? will stand up still have meaning?

happy new year.

Antiquarian Beverages, take two.

For those interested in the history of the cocktail, I highly recommend Tom Standage’s A History of the World in Six Glasses. In this curious work, Standage traces the likely origin of the cocktail to Admiral Cockburn. When Cockburn was not busy razing parts of the Northeastern Seaboard, he ordered that every sailor in the British Navy be given daily rations of rum and lime; the admixture of which with sugar became known as the cocktail, ostensibly in his honor. Standage also attributes this switch to a lime-based beverage with drastically lowering rates of scurvy in the royal navy… which he also correlates with the total ascendancy of British naval forces over those of the scurvy-ridden French. Whether the theory holds, it is certainly amusing to speculate upon whilst enjoying a good cocktail.

However, given that there is no exact recipe for the original cocktail of the British Navy, here is a recipe for a cocktail that is nearly as old, courtesy of the wikiproject cocktails endeavour.

“To make a Sazerac, mix 3-4 dashes of Peychaud’s bitters (Angostura bitters is not an acceptable substitute, although some people will add a dash of Angostura to the Peychaud’s) and 2 to 2.5 ounces of cognac or rye whiskey(the Original recipe calls for Rye). If you’re a traditionalist, before adding ice to the mixing glass add a sugar cube and about a tablespoon of water, then the bitters, then muddle until the sugar is dissolved as much as possible. Or you can use simple syrup in place of sugar cubes for convenience and to avoid any undissolved sugar in your drink: Mix the bitters and cognac/rye, fill the glass 2/3 full with cracked ice, stir for thirty seconds, add one teaspoon of simple syrup; stir, strain and serve.”

one for the money, two for the champale

in honour of my favorite new year’s beverage and memory:

from urbandictionary:

Champale

A sparkling, malt beverage designed to look and taste like champagne, even though it isn’t, made by Pabst Brewing Company.

Maybe it’s the Champale talking, but I think you’re pretty sexy.

See also,

Adrock, “I got class like pink Champale, MCA grab the mike before the mike goes stale”

a good new year. longer post when I hit brooklyn

rivered!

one of my dreams has always been to invent a language where it is grammatically correct to use any word as any part of speech. a noun can be used as a verb, so that, for example, it would be acceptable to soda someone out of their money. i don’t know what this would actually mean, but the poetic possibilities are endless.

the fifth episode of tilt is entitled “rivered.” unlike paroenetic, the origins of the word are pretty clear; the word obviously derives from the river card.

urbandictionary defines “rivered” as:

In “open” variations of poker such as Hold ‘Em or Stud, to have one’s strong hand beaten by an opponent whose stronger hand is only completed with the last face-up card, called “the river” or “Fifth Street;” or, to beat an opponent’s strong hand with the last face-up card.

there is also the variant form, “river’d” which nonsensically claims that “rivered” is related to “arrow’d.” (“What happens when you are shot by multiple arrows at one time, most likely out of somebody’s mouth. Word first made popular by Strongbad of Homestar Runner fame.”) while the feelings associated with the terms are probably similar, there is no linguistic reason to link the two words.

2 things of interest here:

1) “rivered” has almost the same meaning as being “up the creek.” or consider, “up the river,” being sent to prison. what does this say about man’s relationship with water? would “oceaned” have the same connotation?

2) there already is a “real” verb river, with both a trans. and intrans. form. to river something is “To wash (wool or sheep) in a river.” but it’s the intrans form that really stands out:

“To follow a river-like course”

isn’t this, essentially, what “rivered” means? one is still following a “river-like” course–it’s only the definition of “river” here that has changed (or, rather a parallel noun has emerged.) perhaps “river, v” is no longer rare as the OED claims

gotta love people heeding the call and bringing back the old verbs,

 

 

 

subversion-addendum

i decided to throw subversion onto urbandictionary to see what came back. here are the picks of the litter:

	sleptigarious
	(-ly) adv.–something done subversively, sneakily, and with no small amount of luck and cleverness. adj.–One who is subversive, but not with any particular goal in mind Paul sleptigariously moved the spatula behind the toaster.

unfortunately, i think the word may be too forgettable to really catch on, but it’s a pretty perfect word.

ACLU
	A bunch of subversive and seditious communist lovers who claim to be safeguarding rights when in fact they are only interested in promoting the socialist agenda and hugging up to dangerous people and ideals. The ACLU should be outright banned as a subversive organization from the United States!

bill o’reilly submits to urbandictionary?

“subversion” and a diversion

so netflix sent me the “naughty” version of “National Lampoon’s Pledge This!” and i’m having a hard time trying to decide what to make of it. so far it’s mildly funny, which is quite surprising. after the American Pie: Band Camp debacle, i didn’t know whether i’d ever watch another 4th rate teen sex comedy. i actually decided to rent Pledge This when I was in best buy a few weeks ago and noticed that the film had the aforementioned “naughty” version. while i don’t believe a non-naughty (is nice the binary for naughty?) version of said film is extant, i started to wonder whether every film should be released with a naughty variant. it would certainly make me more agreeable to seeing “Happy Feet.”

i can’t help but wonder who still writes “National Lampoon’s” movies. even though they’ve ceased being a credible comedy organization, does National Lampoon still employ Harvard Lampoon graduates? is this what has become of America’s elite universities?

perhaps this film was written by a quasi-intellectual. Unlike the recent coterie of NL flicks, Pledge This! appears to have achieved a highly acute self-awareness of its standing and plays with the tropes of its genre. watching the opening, the word subversion was on the tip of my tongue. but is that fair? are self-consciousness and self-criticism the same thing as subversion, or simply staid intertextuality?

let’s find out…

Pledge This! certainly has nothing to do with “1. Overthrow, demolition (of a city, stronghold, etc.)” but that definition is obsolete anyway. nor does it refer to the now rare “The turning (of a thing) upside down or uprooting it from its position; overturning, upsetting (of an object).” if the movie’s caliber degrades, i may find it refers to, “Med. subversion of the stomach: nausea.” again, this definition is obsolete, but like “merry-sorry,” i’m taking it back.

2006 hammerskjold “the merry-sorry seas caused a pronounced subversion of Dr. Schneider’s stomach”

who said studying vocab hurt creativity?

the current definition of subversion is suitably broad enough to include everything, and nothing. “In immaterial senses: Overthrow, ruin. a. of a law, rule, system, condition, faculty, character, etc. b. of persons, countries, peoples, or their lives or fortunes.”

the emphasis on “immaterial” is the most interesting part of the definition. whereas previously subversion was a physical act, subversion is now confined to the effect. one no-longer subverts a city with a fire, one disparages the firefighters and subverts their authority. unless, of course, one is a subversive.

btw, the verb subvert also has the rare variant “subverse”. i’m sure you know which one i’ll be using.

as to whether or not “Pledge This!” is subversive, i should probably watch the whole movie before I attribute greatness to it–it’s 4 netflix stars not withstanding.

Drink of the day

Hello, Readership. Herein follows my first posting to Yesterday’s Salad, courtesy of a generous invitation from Mr. Hammerskjold. As per his request, here is the first drink of the day, appropriate for holiday-time, the Smoking Bishop:

5 unpeeled oranges
1 unpeeled grapefruit
36 cloves
1/4 pound of sugar
2 bottles of red wine
1 bottle of port

Wash the fruit and oven bake until brownish. Turn once. Put fruit into a warmed earthenware bowl with six cloves stuck into each.

Add the sugar and pour in the wine – not the port.

Cover and leave in a warm place for a day.

Squeeze the fruit into the wine and strain.

Add the port and heat. DO NOT BOIL!

While this recipe can be found elsewhere on the internet, it is worthy of note that modern knowledge of the drink (which has long since fallen out of vogue) stems from Cedric Dickens’ excellent Drinking with Dickens, which contains recipes for all of the drinks mentioned in the books of his great-grandfather, Charles Dickens.

Having tried this last year in good New Years’ company, my personal recommendations for a good bowl of bishop are to heat the mixture to a *very* low temperature, and to serve immediately. Adding a small amount of higher-proof spirits, such as applejack, kirschwasser, or even rum (stay away from vodka, gin, tequila, etc.), gives the beverage an additional kick or can compensate for being slow with a ladle, as the alcohol in the beverage can boil away very quickly if you are not careful.

So when you are ready to indulge the holiday spirit in a decidedly non-Pumblechookian manner, pour yourself a mug of smoking bishop.

“A merry Christmas, Bob!” said Scrooge, with an earnestness that could not be mistaken, as he clapped him on the back. “A merrier Christmas, Bob, my good fellow, than I have given you, for many a year! I’ll raise your salary, and endeavour to assist your struggling family, and we will discuss your affairs this very afternoon, over a Christmas bowl of smoking bishop, Bob!”

words of the day

today’s words of the day come to us from an academic article on 16th century [zionism spawning religion redacted] historiography. they are: cupidity, and paroenetic. cupidity i’ve seen before, and apparently misunderstood. the other word is, i think, the subject of a thomas pynchon novel.

cupidity comes from the Latin cupidatem, meaning passionate desire. this is what i’ve always thought cupidity meant, given cupid’s role and all. cupidity as a term for general passionate desire or lust, however, is considered archaic. instead the current meaning of the word is “spec. Inordinate desire to appropriate wealth or possessions; greed of gain.”

i’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out how cupidity came to refer only to money. i can only assume that messers Graves and Faegles neglected to endow us with the fables of Cupid going broke and, needing money for blow, whoring out his arrow shooting.

more likely, there is a general trend in philology wherein words become specified over the centuries. as i’m not a philologist, i can only assume this rule exists. any philologists (or, more likely given my blog’s readership, Brandy Taylor enthusiasts) wishing to set me right should do so in the comments.

today’s second word, paroenetic, does not exist. it’s not in the OED. i can only assume that, given our author’s academic appointment, this is a standard word in Israeli English. unfortunately, it’s lost on us western worrywarts. context is of absolutely no help in figuring out the word’s meaning.

1988 Gutwirth. “especially those writing paroenetic treatises and collections of homilies,”

while i certainly don’t put it past anyone to neologize, usually the derivation is obvious. this time, not so much.  does it come from “paroecism,” the state of being paroecious? (probably not; paroecious means “having the male and female reproductive organs in close proximity but not mixed.” I can not figure out how to make that work in context. i mean, obviously it’s the right type of word for the sentence position, but come on.)

urbandictionary is likewise of no help, however it is offering me the ability to define it. i don’t have any good ideas, even for turning jokes.

so, i decided to ask google, and after turning up 3 unhelpful hits, google aksed me if i meant, “paraenetic.” i did. paraenetic means, “advisory or hortatory, now rare.” considering the rarity of the word, and the pre-internet publication date of the article, i understand why the mistake was left in. but did someone think of the word bloggers at all when they left this mistake in? how am i supposed to help society if society only hurts me?

Links–full post(s) to come later

not sure if this is in bad taste or not, but here goes: dana carvey announcing ford’s death. i can only hope the fact that gerald ford was not eaten by wolves brings someone comfort.

and watch as the phillies enter the future with a new ballpark. did any one else notice that none of the fans in CBP are wearing phillies gear? i didn’t realize the phillies had been that obvious about their desire to replace the 700 level phans with yuppies. still, i hope Harry Kalas does the voice over for my next apartment. (does that make sense? why does my apartment need a promotional video?)

word of the day (with a special bonus words along the way)

continuing our tradition of blogging like canada—behind the times—today’s word clearly should have been yesterday’s: merry (adj). while i’d like to say that delaying my post on merry is some sort of Zionist plot to reclaim the word for our own perfidious purposes, my real reason for blogging it is the fact I accidentally wished someone a merry–then realized my mistake and said—holidays today, only to have her look at me like an idiot. of course i still looked like an idiot. to which holiday could i have referred? st. sylvester’s feast day is impossibly far away. i could only have been one of those weird bahai, with a weird, made-up holiday, no doubt.

anyway, on to merry. since everyone knows the meaning of the word (or do they?), I thought i’d spend a little time on its etymology before discussing some of its now obs. variants. merry is a cognate of the middle dutch “mergelijc pleasant,” but also the Old High German, “murg short.” According to the OED, “The development of sense appears to have been ‘short; that shortens or whiles away time; entertaining, pleasant,’” which they compare to the word “pastime.” i can’t decide whether or not “merry” still has this temporal element to it, or whether that connotation has completely dropped. nonetheless, our words are right: happiness is fleeting.

the most interesting development in the meaning of “merry” is how specified its become. merry used to be used as just a general word meaning, “That causes pleasure” in many contexts i.e., if the sun was shining bright, it was merry (the moon too); if the winds were right for sailing, they were merry (SHAKESPEARE Com. Err. (1623) IV. i. 90 The merrie winde Blowes faire from land.) if your bitch was pleasant to look at, she was merry (1559 Passage Q. Eliz. Aij, [the ho] by holding vp her handes, and merie countenaunce to such as stode farre of,..did declare her selfe [etc.].) now, nothing is merry. Even using merry as a synonym for “happy” is obsolete.

what gives?

it seems that the temporal aspect is still at play. the primary definitions for merry today are “b. Of a season or festival: characterized by celebration and rejoicing. Freq. in Merry Christmas! and other seasonal greetings,” and “a. Expressive of merriment; characterized by cheerfulness or exuberant gaiety; festive, joyful, jolly,” frequently having to do with alcohol. see, definition 3 on urbandictionary, “The stage inbetween Tipsy and Bladdered. Im not pissed, im just merry!” and i have no clue why this paragraph is in italics, or why it wont let me turn them off.

merry is only defining short term phenomena. and, indeed, the 16th century slang word (why am I surprised there was slang in the 16th century?) “merry bout Obs., (a) a drinking session; (b) slang, an act of sexual intercourse”, makes this clear.

merry also has a (bonus word!) appositive meaning [appositive: Of, pertaining to, or standing in apposition]. the OED records the word, “merry-sorry” which does not mean happily sorry, but negates other senses of the word merry e.g. “these merry-sorry Lashes may Driue Time and Times Abuse,” and merry-sorry Seas to mean bad, rough waters. i’m sure we all can find ways to bring this definition back. please leave suggestions in the comments.

come to think of it, i’m also trying to find a way of generalizing defintion six on urbandictionary:

a goofball girl who going out wit dan and is a very emotinal drinker

man merrys crying yeah dude its cause he drunk.

suggestions on that one are welcome too.