jerry brown redux

January 19, 2007

could jerry brown be the mysterious commenter known as “jerry brown“? although in all likelihood the answer is “no,” there is some good circumstantial evidence to suggest that mr. brown is in fact mr. brown.

1) the entirety of mr. brown’s comment is an emendation to mandrake’s jerry brown c.v. resume. jerry brown seems to want everyone to know that jerry brown was mayor of oakland and that jerry brown is now the attorney general for california. is this the type of un-self-aggrandizement that regularly occurs on blog comments? alas, no. people are more likely to comment about cute rabbits, and other miscellany then they are likely to defend politicians records. (See the case of designedlateral’s epic post, “Harry Reid and the Hardy Boys Combine to make Captain Planet” and the bizarre comments people leave about spoonball. ) besides, people usually only stick up for their own inadequacies and not others.

2) wordpress did not send me an email about the comment. this is perhaps the most damning piece of evidence. why didn’t i get an email? i always get emails from wordpress when people comment. the only explanation for this lacuna is executive privilege. as an elected official, wordpress allows brown to leave comments without fear that the blog admin will know their email. this is why joe biden can not be killed by conventional weapons. sneaky bastards.

3) three people googled jerry brown and arrived at yesterday’s salad. just jerry brown. not “jerry brown AND zany presidential candidate,” or “jerry brown brandy taylor,” but jerry brown. we’re not even in the first 100 hits for jerry brown. who goes beyond the first 50 hits, yet alone the first 100? you only do that when you’re looking for yourself.

but why would mr. brown feel the need to comment, you ask? doesn’t his legislative record speak for itself?

friends, i believe that mr. brown’s commenting behaviour is the first sign that he is preparing to run for president again. he wants it known that he is still viable, that he’s still with it and hip. he wants it known that he deserves a column explaining why he won’t be president, and not simply a retrospective about the foibles of his fallen dreams.

we at the salad salute such ridiculous behaviour, and encourage all our readers to run for public office. i only hope jerry brown picks JT as his running mate.

roosevelt-hoover.jpgHerbert Hoover and Franklin Roosevelt are best known for being bitter political enemies from the 1932 presidential election. During the Great War, Hoover devoted his fortune and talents to humanitarian missions, most notably rescuing thousands of American tourists from Europe. Because of his heroic efforts, Hoover became a bit of a national hero. Much like Eisenhower after the Second World War, Hoover had no obvious political attachments and was recruited by both parties. While he eventually announced his support for Warren G. Harding and the Republicans (and becoming his Secretary of Commerce), for a time, Hoover was viewed as a potential presidential candidate for both parties. It is unlikely the talks got very far, but there were some overtures made to Hoover to have him run on a Democratic ticket–with Roosevelt as his running-mate.

If they had won, history would have been completely rewritten with the likely result that FDR would never have become president (the vice-presidency was much more of a political dead end in those days). Woodrow Wilson fatigue was running pretty high so it would have been an uphill fight for any Democrat to get elected in 1920. Even so, such a ticket would have taken two of America’s future staunchest rivals and placed them together in common cause.

We’re inaugurating a new feature here at the Salad. Every friday (for the foreseeable future), Yesterday’s Salad feuilletonists will blog about who should be writing Superman. These are really dream suggestions, rather than practical, legitimate proposals to DC comics, so don’t expect to see anyone write about the virtues of Joe Kelly, Joe Casey, or Joe Mantegna (ok, maybe Joe Mantegna). We’re also picking people to write self-contained arcs, outside of continuity, though not quite elseworlds (i can feel half of the readership tuning out…), that take place within the regular DC universe. Now that the ground-rules are set, it’s time to begin.

mr. mandrake actually stole my dream superman writer, whom he plans on writing about next week, but since he’s been thinking about it for a while, i’m not going to raise a ruckus. my next idea was a barry bonds-mark mcgwire writing tandem; i was going to have them write an arc where superman’s super strength is revealed to be a consequence of steroids. after a media hullabaloo, superman is called to testify at a congressional subcommittee, chaired by “Rallen H. ‘Dud’ Seligson,” concerning his steroid use. superman is exonerated, and the government provides the use of steroids for the benefit of america, and major league baseball. but, in the end, i just don’t think mcgwire and bonds have the nuanced writing style necessary to tell such a fable.

so, i’m going to start with the obvious: Thomas Pynchon should be writing Superman.

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