Literature Through the Ages Explained (For Women)

January 29, 2007

There was a man.
He hurt me.
I cried.
I got angry.
I did something (ate ice cream).
I met another.

13 Responses to “Literature Through the Ages Explained (For Women)”

  1. codyhess Says:

    Might the poems have been better served as a single post, for posterity?

    Maybe YS should have a weekly digest post highlighting the bestofs, of which this would be one.

  2. dailysalad Says:

    i like the digest idea. i also agree that this is one of the week’s best, however it only works in tandem with the other. do they both merit inclusion?

  3. JT Says:

    Mark Earlbaum told me, while we were doing stretches during grade 7 gym class, that women get complacent in their old age and fat off eating bon bons. Said women need to be dropped like a bad habit. Eating ice cream is just a more severe degree of this complacency and subsequent fattening. Weight Watchers and South Beach Diet be damned. Liposuction is the wave of the future!

  4. Jen Says:

    I have been holding my tongue for awhile, but the evidence is overwhelming that Yesterday’s Salad is anti-woman. Since you are all so fond of lists, here are the reasons:
    1. The only women mentioned on your blog are porn stars (Brandy Taylor — there, maybe you will get more internet traffic) and Hillary Clinton (whom you call a calculating lesbian non-lesbian who will never become President — more internet traffic)
    2. No women have been suggested to write the next Superman.
    3. Eurotrip’s nudity is graded on a male-friendly scale (women see teen sex comedies too).
    4. Not a single woman contributes to YS.
    5. There is no pink.

    But this is the final straw. Why do men do the open, limitless, mischievous, (possibly sexually suggestive?) “something” while women eat ice cream?

  5. dailysalad Says:

    damning criticism, indeed. i’m sure we must have mentioned other women at some point…we’ve sent shout-outs to annie!
    2. never fear, the virtues of jhumpa lahiri’s superman will be extolled.
    3. women do indeed see teen sex comedies, however they usually do not like to see large numbers of members on screen at the same time.
    4. i agree. this needs correction.
    5. there is a lot of pink in my wardrobe.

  6. JT Says:

    Jhumpa Lahiri? Are you joking me? Kal Penn pokes her with his 9 inch rod every fourth Tuesday of the month. This movie is going to outdo the book. What do I mean by outdo? I mean Ridley Scott vs. James Cameron–Alien vs Aliens.

    Teen sex comedy? Like when you see the boom in the corner of the screen in a porno flick? Does Adam Sandler ever reference Ron jeremy in one of his Jewish themed songs?

    No women contribute to YS? Gender theorists be damned.

    I own a pair of pink crocs and they are fabulous.

    In the words of a great man, “Audrey Tautou is a stone fox in Amelie.”

    Ivy-leaguers of all sorts–the real kind, public, Jesuit, southern=-be damned.

  7. JT Says:

    Also, as you may have noticed above, I’m really in a mood for daming things. Here are a few more:

    1. subzero weather,

    2. the stench of sweaty sports gear,

    3. my failings at German,

    4. sam talbot being eliminted from TC2,


    5. faces that look like rape scenes.

  8. codyhess Says:

    (Brandy Taylor — there, maybe you will get more internet traffic)

    All links in wordpress comments are marked nofollow to prevent spam. I wouldn’t be surprised if somehow comment text was “no read” as well.

    Kal Penn pokes her with his 9 inch rod every fourth Tuesday of the month.

    A gay guy told my roommate that he had sex with Kal Penn. If true, Kal Penn is gay.

  9. Annie Says:

    While I appreciate the shout-outs, I agree with Jen that the post is somewhat anti-woman, and the blog if not anti-woman, is lacking in women.

    Also, I’ve never consoled myself with ice cream after a breakup. Alcohol maybe, but not ice cream.

  10. JT Says:

    Guilty pleasure — Vodka and Ice Cream.

    This tasty treat can be enjoyed pre, post, or even in lack of a breakup.

    Also, a friend of my second cousin says she rubbed Kal Penn off in the bathroom of a restaurant in the village. This evidence clearly refutes your claim* that Mr. Penn is gay. Penn poking someone with his rod, however, isn’t necessarily gay, straight, or even sexual.

  11. dailysalad Says:

    i’m starting to agree with Jen and Annie that parts of YS have an anti-woman vibe to them. for example, this comment thread….

  12. […] all the while portraying feminine traits (in contrast to Yesterday’s Salad’s known misogyny); partly this was caused by Dash’s desire to break free of the construct known as time […]

  13. You guys are awesome 🙂 keep up the good work.

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