A while back, I suggested that Studio 60 would get at least ten times better just by cutting out some of the characters–and it didn’t matter which ones, as long as Harriet was one of them. Watching last night’s Studio 60, watching Matt and Danny slug through awful romantic storylines, I decided that more than just Harriet needs to get the whole heave-ho if the show is going to improve.

Step 1: Cut the Women.  This isn’t meant to be exhibit C or X or whatever one we’re actually on in Yesterday’s Salad’s misogyny, rather it’s a reflection of the fact that the two leading female roles on Studio 60 are poorly designed, and distracting from the show’s strengths. Amanda Peet is actually doing a much better acting job than I imagined she would, but her character’s storylines just aren’t cutting it. In fact, the only one of them that works at all is the one about her potentially getting fired. The Harriet-Matt pericope is dragging on without any sign of resolution, and for no real purpose other than Sorkin’s catharsis. The leading ladies need to go. However, a show still needs female leads, and some of the minor characters on Studio 60 have that potential. Lucy and Tom’s romance is the only one that’s working [an aside: why does this show have three couplings? How many were there in the entire series of the West Wing or Sports Night?], and could easily become a focal point. Matt’s new assistant is funny, and the mysteriously disappeared reporter was a decent character. Besides, the show could flesh out the woman quotient by enlarging the role of the other women on the show within a show. Read the rest of this entry »

You call that an addiction?

February 6, 2007

Out of all of the Saladeers, I am unquestionably the least creative and probably the least literate. This is due to the fact that although I can occasionally write a coherent sentence, most of my creative endeavours either ended before I entered college, or should have. As a result, given that I have a) stopped drinking, and b) the free books box hasn’t been outside in the last few weeks due to inclement weather, my contributions to YS have remained somewhat circumscribed. There was a minor outcry about the former, but my leaden prose (and total of one review) has led to silence about the latter.

Given the thorough coverage that the Saladeers give to other topics, this leaves me with a paucity of things to write about. At one point I had suggested to our Glorious Leader that I cover the philosophy beat, but he suggested that it was a little too dry for the format. I probably could have done a celebrity critique of said philosophers (i.e. Mark Taylor found in bed with twin strippers, one of whom is a noted deontologist!), but YS readers would probably not appreciate a daily Platonic dialogue. Again, we find a will to write, but little to write about, at least little that anyone would read — although I’m sure that the bizarre Google-search terms that it would bring us might make it worthwhile.

Thus, I will continue to post iterant special articles to YS, should the Powell’s box overfloweth, and I will resurrect the drink of the day. But I propose an additional venue: the gaming beat.

Video games are something I know plenty about. This not necessarily a good thing: the night before last, despite the fact that I had work the following day, I stayed up until four-thirty in the morning playing games. Why? Because if I didn’t teach those dissidents of the Rebel Alliance some manners, Imperial Star Destroyer-style, who would? Were it not for me, they might have managed to recruit more vagabonds to their pathetic cause. At least, whatever pathetic vagabonds are awake at four-thirty in the morning.

The way that I would institute this is multi-faceted. There are plenty of blogs and online publications that have huge, dedicated teams of writers, so I have no desire to turn my contributions into a comprehensive, bleeding-edge collection of news and reviews. Instead, there would be select reviews, some general theory articles, and perhaps even some original projects, which would of course run on both mac and pc.

Any thoughts?

*****

As a bonus, here is a nerd-related beverage recipe.

Pan-galactic gargle blaster

  • 1/2 cup Vodka
  • 1/2 cup Triple Sec
  • 1/2 cup Yukon Jack liqueur
  • 1/2 cup Peach Schnapps
  • 1/2 cup Jack Daniel’s Tennessee whiskey
  • 1/2 cup fresh lime juice
  • 1/2 cup cranberry juice
  • Pour in a big jug.
  • Fill with lemon-lime soda, gatorade.
  • Add 42 ice cubes. Stir.
  • Enjoy… slowly.

The most common criticism I seem to encounter as a writer for the Salad is, “All you ever think about is porn and mass transit!” For the record, I’d like it to be known that I also think about kittens. But it turns out that the Salad isn’t the only place with nudity and public transport on the brains: Sofia Bulgaria is now showing soft-core porn at the central bus terminal.

So far the biggest complaint with Sofia’s program has been with the security guards who are too busy keeping their eyes out for nipples to keep watch for spoliators. The stated reason for the program is that it gives passengers something to keep them warm and occupied in the dead of winter. I like to think that this also leads to higher ridership on public transport, therefore fewer people in cars, less greenhouse gasses, and a safer world. Who says pornography does nothing for society?

Sir, I Demand Satisfaction

February 6, 2007

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Dear Anonymous Google User:

We here at the Salad pride ourselves on being a good old fashioned family blog, just like the ones your grandparents read when they were young. Any perceived prurient pandering on our part has been purely accidental. We most certainly do not consort pornographers, be they new or otherwise. So imagine my horror when I find that you accessed our site through this google search term: cate edwards” picture 2007 sex.

For shame, sir, for shame. How dare you besmirch the honor of such a fine upstanding young woman? How could you suppose that the daughter of John Edwards would ever take part in such tawdry behavior? Just look at the young lady you have so callously wronged:

cateedwards.jpg

Cate Edwards is an attractive and admirable young lady, so your curiosity is understandable, but those of us in civilized society must restrain such impulses. What you do in the privacy of your home is up to you, but your sort of filth has no business being on the internet. You, sir, are a degenerate and a disgrace. I shall not stand by as you sully the reputation of an innocent girl.

And to think, today was the day I was going to explain why her father would would not become president. Thanks to this disgusting ordeal, however, I think Ms. Edwards has suffered quite enough for one day.

Pistols at dawn!

Courteously yours,

L.P. Mandrake, Esq.