A Subway Poem

February 9, 2007

Something weird about that couple.
Oh, they’re brother and sister.
Wait-
They look like brother and sister, but…
Are they a couple?

They’re holding hands.
Not in a brother and sister way.
A couple.
But they look like brother and sister.

Not okay!

obamaman.jpgThere has been quite a bit of talk regarding the chances that the senator from Illinois will face a serious attempt on his life. He reminds many Americans of the dead Kennedy brothers in his style and vision (note: Teddy may be dead on the inside, but his corporeal form is still ticking). In particular, America has not seen a politician with the transformative potential of Obama since RFK. So, naturally, somebody is going to take a shot at him, right? “Hogwash,” we harumph as we readjust our monocle. The Kennedy comparisons are mostly invalid. As any serious student of history knows, Jack and Bobby were killed by Cuban ex pats in coordination with the CIA and other factions that sought a more hard line policy against Castro. Therefore, so long as Obama does not reveal his positions on Cuba, he will be fine.

If anyone is going to eat a bullet this cycle, it’s going to be Joe Biden. Not only is America not ready for his bold vision of a federalized Iraq, overdone metaphors, or widespread Bidenocracy, but that dude is a serious ass. There have just got to be a bunch of people who want to see that guy take a magic bullet or ten. Sic semper Biden.