The Boyfriend Trouser 2: Boyfriend’s Revenge

March 10, 2007

I have more to say on the subject of The Boyfriend Trouser. This situation is worse than I originally thought…

I am afraid that the creation and popularization of these pants are part of a feminist master plan to subdue the male half of the world once and for all. And now they have The Gap on their side…

The possible symbolism of the involvement of “The Gap” in this affair notwithsittingdown…the fact of the matter of the fiction of the energy is that…

These girls are not only trying to steal our trousers…they goin’ afta the snake (and his eggs) too.

Piece of Evidence #1: This ‘cute’ commerical wherein Claire Danes literally steals the pants off the up-and-coming Patrick Wilson.

First of all, we cannot trust Danes’s involvement in this Boyfriend Trouser situation. Why would she be in a commerical with up-and-coming Patrick Wilson? While both are B+List celebrities at this point in time, Danes is one because…she’s never really gone anywhere. Not compared to where she might have gone. Wilson is a B+ student on his way to A-land (not to be confused with asshole land, where cross-eyed people come from) because he’s brand spanking new. He’s up and coming.

 And the feminists can’t have that. I propose, therefore, that Claire Danes is in actualillity a dangerous, undercover, trouser-stealing and man-eating fembot.

The feminists don’t want any man, or any part of any man, up and coming – and that’s why their corporate front, “The Gap,” chose PatWil for this commerical. They also chose him for another reason, which will make sense only to those who have watched Hard Candy in it’s entirety.

If you think this sounds silly, or that I am making this up, well, why don’t you check out:

Piece of Evidence #2: This fashion magazine article, written partially in reference to The Boyfriend Trouser, and titled “Debag your boyfriend.”

I am on to you, “The Gap.” And I swear on the soul of the salad, if you come near my bag…

I will bite you mf’ing eyes.

Bomb.

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