Amidst the Salad‘s reverence for the Man of Steel, we’ve forgotten an embarrassing but existing style of Superman comic – the we’re fresh out of ideas comic. Superman has been around in various incarnations since Action Comics #1 in 1938, written by multiple authors, and let’s face it folks – they weren’t all winners. With this in mind I present our eighth potential superman author (sadly deceased), Shel Silverstein.shel_silverstein Of course, I choose Silverstein not because he’ll write the ridiculous plots fanboys love to hate, but because he’ll provide something wholly original.

Shel, beloved children’s poet and dirty cartoonist, could both write and draw his Superman, thereby sacrificing none of his original vision to the demons of collaboration.

With his sexual perversity, subtle or blatant, he could explore the Clark/Lois/Superman romance in a manner few have dared. I hate to claim ideas on behalf of the deceased, but perhaps Lois could suggest to Clark or Superman that she’d like a threesome with the other. Has the force of a super-ejaculation ever been explored?

On a non-sexual level, Silverstein’s interest in anatomy might explore how Superman cuts his super-hair or shaves his super-stubble (provided his incarnation didn’t blast energy from his eyes into a mirror reflected onto his shaving cream caked face, as we’ve seen before).

Lastly, given the magnitude of Superman’s power, there’s always been a careful balance between the Metropolis/world/Lois threatening situations that can motivate him to action and the lightness necessary to make a comic about a flying underwear model enjoyable. Silverstein’s ability to make a Big Deal out of the ordinary will allow us to see necessarily urgent plotlines on a smaller scale. Image Superman struggling with acne (a la young Peter Parker), boredom, or even poor cellular reception.