In order of least biteworthy to most…

  1. A magazine cover reminded me that Chloe Sevigny exists. I bite her acting. And no, I have not seen Boys Don’t Cry. And I never will. You know why? Because we do mf’ing cry – when baseballs hit our face.

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After a quick run as one of the growing-blog darlings of wordpress.com, Yesterday’s Salad is in a slump. Not too long ago, our numbers peaked at the dizzying height of [DH: redacted; it’s a number in the high-mid-hundreds] hits, and soon after, we plummeted down to the terrifying lows without so much as time to savor the creamy middles. Although we are slowly working our way out of this rut, we have yet to recapture the magic and Lindbergh-like, pioneer spirit that drew readers to our humble web-log in the first place. Some might answer that we haven’t been posting as regularly, and that I’ve used my postings to discuss logical obscurata instead of things that tend to show up in search engine terms, thus limiting our readership to a loyal cadre of friends and chartered accountants. While this explanation might satisfy Inspector Japp, I invite you to examine the situation with a more careful eye: in time, you will come to see that Yesterday’s Salad was set up.

Who would do such a thing? And why? What follows is a brief catalog of suspects and motives. No one is as innocent as they seem.

Suspect 1. Herman Furry Paws.

Some people just don’t know when to let go of things before they become tired and cliched. For instance, snitching, and stopping said snitching. While the folks at HBaT have said time and time again that they don’t just talk about snitching, and that some confusion may be caused by the fact that one of their contributors is actually named “stop snitching,” we know that they’re up to no good. After all, if someone sees everyone else as snitching…

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