5 ways to keep entertained around the office

April 2, 2007

Having lived most of his life in the halls of academe, when Mr. Nothwithabang… has worked, it has mostly taken place outside of an office, whether it was bartending, leading group therapy sessions, or occassionally, wrestling a savannah tiger. Thus, forced into the confines of a meager, padded space near the water cooler, it has been somewhat daunting to stay entertained. What follows are a few suggestions for the pursuit of happiness and sanity for the hopelessly becubicled.

1. Attempt to make simple tasks into deeds of Herculean proportion. E.g. Fill a cup of coffee past the brim (surviving on surface tension alone) and attempt to walk it across the office without spilling. In response to the question, “couldn’t you just pour some out?” simply respond, “yes, but if I manage to do this, the bards will sing of my deeds for ages to come.”

2. Attempt a game of tic-tac-toe (or if you’re up on your algebraic notation, chess) via paper airplanes.

3. Hoard office supplies, refusing to give them out unless people request them in 5-7-5 format, answering “Mine mine mine, or I shall help you not.” (note: will not make you popular at the office)

4. Watch an informative video about sexual harrassment in the workplace.

5. Blog.

2 Responses to “5 ways to keep entertained around the office”

  1. JT Says:

    Perhaps trips to the water cooler, with scheduled and unscheduled stops to chat with coworkers, is worth mentioning? Checking email every five seconds and playing fantasy sports also work. XO. ex-GM employee.

  2. JT Says:

    I suppose the coffee example is close to water cooler but, fuck man, coffee stains your teeth. Bitches don’t dig guys with yellowing teeth. Unless you’re James Bond, in which case yellow(ing) teeth are in.

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