An open letter to the boys from HB…&T!, AT&T (they of the cell-service-chicanery), and anyone harmed in last week’s transit-comment-war:

Dear sirs, and madams. I’m sorry to have caused such damage with my innocuously intentioned piece about the light-hearted world of public transportation. I swear I meant no harm. But instead of seeing things in a silly light, and instead of letting us brighten your days, the whole thing became nonsensical, and somewhere along the way people were hurt. Perhaps the whole idea of public transport was somehow questioned.

But unfortunately for you, it fights back. When trains get mad, they send Russian missile trains after you.

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That’s right, a missile train. Why hide your missiles away in a submarine when you can taunt the passengers on the 1, A, and D trains; RER and METEOR line; S-bahn and premetro? Check out the payload capacity.

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The sleeping giant awaits.