Brandy Taylor Mania: A Look Back
June 4, 2007
When Yesterday’s Salad was first emerging from its Fall hiatus, I wrote a short post about Miss Brandy Taylor(e), star of various adult films, and, inshallah, the actress portraying Mandrake’s love interest in “Yesterday’s Salad: The Musical” (book: Tom Stoppard; music: Aaron Sorkin). What was becoming a logophile destination soon became a gathering place for those interested in our mysterious lady of the web. We didn’t really have much to offer those guests and most of them returned to the ether, as disappointed as the diners during a filming of Gordon Ramsay’s “Hell’s Kitchen.” But very briefly, some of the Saladeers considered turning this website into a post-modern pornographic journal with photos (tastefully, artfully done, of course) and articles devoted to literate discussions of erotica (mostly narratological investigations of the genre as it exists as a tolerated outsider of legitimate film). Somewhere along the way or social mores (really, just fear of our parents reading this blog) got in the way, and we aborted those plans.
Although social decency may have foiled our schemes to be a hyper-literate Hustler, I’d like to suggest that pornography on the internet serves a terrific purpose: foreign language instruction. My contention: foreign languages are more entertaining when accompanied by (or are about) naughty pictures. Just consider all the good that “French movies” did Yale Law professor Jules Coleman!
Here’s an example of pornography’s educational value: just by following the technorati tags for “french maid, brandy taylor” leads to a terrific German blog entry on “Die junge Brandy Taylor als heisses Zimmermädchen.” New nouns have been learned, and adjecive-noun agreement clarified. And somehow, German doesn’t seem so scary any more. After that, we’re ready to move on to full paragraphs. Why, there’s practically an award-winning essay about Brandy’s troubles with her bicycle: Die süße Brandy Taylor möchte zu einer kleinen Fahrradtour starten. Wenn sie natürlich so barbusig startet, wird es unterwegs auf den Straßen ganz schön krachen.”
And this is practically a textbook quality example of the French conditional: “Si le royaume des gros seins existait, Brandy Taylor serait la reine. Sans conteste.”
My advice to students of foreign languages, put down those books and pick up that porn!