Having recently moved into an apartment on 14 St Marks Pl, I am prepared to evaluate the neighborhood and why it is better than yours.

REASON #1 – Crif Dogs
There is a place, scant blocks from my apartment, where one can order a Spicy Redneck for < $5. A Spicy Redneck consists of a hotdog weiner wrapped in bacon, nestled in a cozy bun, and then topped with chili, jalepeños, and cole slaw. Does such a place exist in your neighborhood?

I thought not.

Also worth mentioning, if only for its inferiority, is the newly opened Good Dog exactly three doors from my apartment. Good Dog features standard hot dogs with uninspired toppings at reasonable prices. While not a terrible place, I see it struggling to survive amidst Chickpea, Crif Dogs, multiple yakitori bars, and a new Mamouns, etc etc ETC. Curiously, Crif Dogs, the superior of cuisine, employs a comedienne whose career has never and will never exist, while Good Dog features a serving man in the beginnings of what may proof to be a legitimate standup life.