August 8, 2007
Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America, and all the ships at sea. Let’s go to press.
After a long, self-imposed hiatus, Yesterday’s Salad is back on the airwaves, er, bandwith. While messieurs Dash Hammerskjold and notwithabang… were off on their respective travels through the Orient, much has transpired around the globe. Though readers who are keen on the news media have no doubt kept abreast of the manifold political strife at home and abroad, we would like to draw your attention to the recent cessation of fellow lit-crit blog Elm Rock City and the departure of Jewbiquitous‘ Annie. Their postings may have ceased to illuminate the blogosphere, but we hope that they will continue to grace us with an occasional comment or dispatch from the field.
So, what can readers hope to find in a Yesterday’s Salad that is a year older and a year wiser?
* Consistent features
For a period of time during the past year, YS was known for its weekly features, which were au courant and received a bevy of comments. While many of these consistent postings were the work of the excellent L.P. Mandrake, who is currently presumed lost in a dusty corner of the twisting nether, we at YS hope to bring back regular features. Whether they will fall under the rubric of the much-missed Drink of the Day or the
ultra-controversial Five Paragraphs to Freedom (at least, its inaugural posting) is less clear, but we hope to provide our readers with something that both interests and infuriates. Perhaps a medical school diary? Suggestions are also welcome.
* Guest writers
In an effort to expand our hopelessly jaundiced world-view, we really would welcome some guest contributions. We here at YS are in need of fresh young blood, but it’s not solely because we’re thirsty.
* The Isaac game
Because the public has waited far too long to play “Help Isaac find his World of Warcraft CD,” and its ambitious sequel, “Isaac gets laid.” We won’t make any definite promises about when it will come out, but rest assured that the project remains quite active.
* The further exploitation of women
From its inception, Yesterday’s Salad has been carried, like a palanquin, on the backs of women. Since almost the first day, we’ve managed to rope in countless readers thanks to the mere mention of certain stars of the adult film industry (thank you, Google), despite the fact that YS neither posts nor even discusses porn, except when it occasionally turns up on public transit. Indeed, prior to writing for YS, Mr. notwithabang… had not even heard of the adult stars who remain responsible for many of our search-term hits even to this very day.
Were this not enough, we manage to steal most of our best ideas, ranging from public transportation schemes to ten-page papers on the art of Yiddish storytelling, from the hard-working gals at the Yesterday’s Salad typing pool. And we have absolutely no plans to quit or start giving them credit any time soon.
* Unabashed Anglophilia
Recently, a co-worker of Mr. notwithabang… of a similarly Anglophilic bent gave him an extra copy of a so-called “lad mag” that she had lying around her apartment. While this blogger was skeptical of the appropriateness of this impromptu gift (“try it, you’ll like it” is not one of his favorite phrases to hear), he quickly found that once again, culture remains superior on the other side of the pond. Not only did said magazine feature pictures of delightful crumpets Lucy Pinder and Liz Hurley buck naked, but it did so back-to-back with A TEN PAGE REPORT ON BISCUITS, detailing which biscuits were most suitable for occasions, the best tea/biscuit combinations, and an abbreviated history of biscuits. Although we at YS have made reference to our Tory sympathies in the past, we are henceforth rededicating our columns to Queen and Commonwealth. So, rest assured, in the near future, when you wake up to a cup of tea and a platter of McVitie’s Digestives, and open up the morning’s edition of Yesterday’s Salad, in addition to finding the literary criticism and occasional video game related diatribe you know and love, you’ll be able to find enlightening features such a comprehensive guide to addressing Peers, from Royal
Dukes to the newly installed Lord Speaker.