Admittedly, the timing of this post couldn’t be worse, as CBS not too long ago tapped Drew “I made Craig Ferguson” Carey to host their long-running (soon ending?) Game Show. Replacing Bob Barker-qua-host would be a daunting task for anyone (excepting, of course, David Letterman, Ted Koppel, and ibiteyourshowcaseshowdown!), but replacing Bob Barker-qua-legend is nigh impossible. Why it wasn’t so long ago that he beat-up Happy Gilmore, and even less time since his brilliant guest appearance as Barney’s possible father on “How I Met Your Mother,” an incredibly likable if inconsistent sitcom (though still on my top-five of current comedies. The others? you don’t ask. The Office, 30 Rock, and– no, that’s it. There are only 3 really good sitcoms on American TV right now. But Dr. House makes up for it all!!!!!!!).

Only the consistent work of Bob Barker managed to keep things afloat lo these many years, separating TPIR from its mediocre brethren, and, no less important, helped to control the pet population (something the cat-ridden Zionist entity could surely use). The worry is, of course, that the “Price is Right,” the grande dame of American game shows, will go the way of the “Family Feud”: first they’ll struggle through a sequence of overweight quasi-celebrity hosts, before eventually drowning in the pond of historical expectations (note how the water imagery makes everything seem more important).

Since the powers that be have already spoken, there would seem to be no reason to use this bully pulpit to speak on behalf of the common man, to use this forum to advocate for Michael Ian Black. After all, Michael Ian Black likes motor scooters while Mr. Carey, to the best of my knowledge, has never stated his opinion about motor scooters. Never stated his opinion? About Motor Scooters? So instead of pointing out the wrongful selection and joining the naysayers in their saying of “Nay!”, I’ll instead offer a few suggestions for how best to run the host selection process in the future.

1. Democratization

If the War in Iraq and the great Late Late Show host search of ’04 have taught us anything, it’s that people love democracy. Committees should open up the host selection process and let real-time experience be the judge of a hosts ability/potential. Mr. Carey’s Late Late Show performance was terrible, while Mr. Ferguson’s showed great promise (ironically enough, the best performer that go-round was co-runner-up Michael Ian Black). Have guest hosts for a few months before you choose a permanent replacement and let people who want to host for a few days, and just for a few days, host for a few days. I’m sure CBS is regretting not having an open search for Nightly News host, given the Katie Couric debacle. With an open process they could have tried out John Roberts as an anchor before letting him jump ship, or they could have considered a Connie Chung comeback. Besides, wouldn’t just two nights of the CBS News with Tom Cruise or the CBS News with Triumph the Insult Shouting Dog have made the whole thing worthwhile? Read the rest of this entry »