Putting the yesterday in Yesterday’s Salad

October 9, 2007

Gentlemen and Ladies:

We find ourselves intrigued by the inherent contradiction that greets us as we begin. “Yesterday’s Salad: Where we still support your revolution”. In order for salad truly to be yesterday it must perforce not be revolutionary i.e. that which seeks to supplant the old. We find ourselves in a universe confused at its outset, befuddled in its origins.

But fear not precious friends. Allowing myself the unthinkable innovation, I shall write in the first person in order to facilitate our understanding. I, Haverstam, shall lead the counter-revolution. That which is old is best. It is by this maxim that we shall find enlightenment and truth. Let us move forward by moving backward; upward by moving downward; and forever twirling, twirling towards freedom.

Men of science have fallen victim recently to some rather dippy conjecture. There is a gentleman at Harvard, one Homi Bambam I am told, who is very much the man in form. Allow me to narrate a story that has yet to be told using reason free from passion. We, I mean I, shall show how a solid grounding in the sources and the science of historical inquiry always anticipates and trumps the new.

There is an beverage, popular among men of breeding and character, that I wish humbly to submit to the annals of yesterday’s salad. An Old Fashioned you say? Ha! But surely you, I mean we, jest. Sadly, the New Salad Order has cast this important beverage to the dustbin of history. Let these dry bones live!

A Harvey Wallbanger is essentially a screwdriver with one crucial distinction – it is made with a dash of Galliano. Galliano is a liquer named for Major Guiseppe Galliano, hero of the first Italo-Ethiopan war of 1895-1896. Widely considered the first instance of successful African military opposition to colonialism, Galliano’s heroics represent a single bright spot for an otherwise beleaguered Italian force.

That which is old is best. Mr. Bambam wants us to believe that his is a revolution. Dearest saladeers, let us not be swayed by the very simple terms used to express such ideas. Colonialism is not as easy as one may think while reading Mr. B. Things are actually more complex than they seem. The fine men and women drinking Harvey Wallbangers knew long ago (ca.1960) that we can not forget about the Italian army and the defeat it suffered.

4 Responses to “Putting the yesterday in Yesterday’s Salad”

  1. dailysalad Says:

    Great first post, Haverstam. I’ll make sure to narrate your concerns to professor Bambam when both of us make our homecomings and descend upon the Quad Club.

  2. […] DHL pointed out in his very first post, Yesterday’s Salad is an indiscriminate supporter of any and all revolutions. So it is that several saladeers recently took part in a sympathy strike and went out to support […]

  3. […] to a bad hangover on Saturday, Dash was left incapable of doing anything. A night of Harvey Wallbangers will do that to you, I suppose. So with Gossip Girl hype at an all time high, I decided to give it […]

  4. […] Rabbi Dr. Professor Jurgen Haverstam, DHL, who looked at the Yesterday in Yesterday’s Salad: Men of science have fallen victim recently to some rather dippy conjecture. There is a gentleman […]

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