Craigslist All-Stars: Pretty Girls With Pretty Feet

October 17, 2007

Ibiteyoureyes spends a lot of time wasting time on craigslist. Occasionally, he applies to freelance jobs on craigslist. Occasionally he hears back from the poster of the gig. And then does a jig. And puts on a wig. My (rooster) is big.

The point is: I don’t ever get any jobs on craigslist because I am not a pretty girl with pretty feet.

These mama-jamas must clean up. Not a day goes by without my seeing an advertisement on craigslist for pretty girls with pretty feet. Not a day, Michael Bay.

Which gets me wondering. And when I wonder, I imagine, and when I imagine, things like this happen…

Why Pretty Girls With Pretty Feet Are Such A Hot Commodity in New York City

  1. High percentage of Californian transplants in the population. When I came to New York for college six years ago, I met about seven Californians for every…say…Rhode Islander. And Californians like pretty people, and they like to wear sandals. Probably, the majority of those craigslist advertisers are homesick Californians.
  2. All that walking, atop all those dirty streets and subway platforms, make for some beat-up, dirty feetsies. The few pretty girls who are either rich enough to take taxis, or lucky enough to have resilient feet, are so rare that they have taken on a value akin to gold, or similar treasures. And so, the craigslisters must be pawn shop suppliers, or mining aficionados.
  3. The craigslisters have a surplus of socks, sneakers, mirrors, and make-up. Just respectable businessmen trying to make a living. They lure young, pretty woman (with feet) to their apartments, and pay them for the privilege of their business. A unique customer service model.
  4. The first rule of Foot Club is that you do not talk about Foot Club. I’ve already said too much about this reason.
  5. Recruiting wives for the lonely gentlemen members of the NSRA.
  6. People are really getting sick of the demands of ugly girls with ugly feet. With good reason. Now they’re writing books.

To read the next installment of Craigslist All-Stars, click here.

4 Responses to “Craigslist All-Stars: Pretty Girls With Pretty Feet”

  1. dailysalad Says:

    I like that “foot club” is one of your tags.

  2. […] To read the first installment, “Pretty Girls With Pretty Feet,” please click here. […]

  3. john Says:

    Lol @ married with children pic

  4. Your blog is very interresting for me, i will come back here..

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