Can you spot the impostor vending machine?

October 21, 2007

Famous/infamous filmmaker Brian DePalma, say what you want about him, recently made a very good point about US press coverage surrounding the war in Iraq, during an interview about his new, controversial film Redacted. I wish I could find the article that I originally read – but this one does a decent job of relaying the same transcription of DePalma’s basic point: that through a combination of government control of the press, and the desensitization of the public in the face of so much coverage in toe-tal, the horrors of war that “We the People” were able to witness second-hand while our troops were in Vietnam, aren’t getting through to us this time around. Not through the major media outlets, at least.

For anyone who cares to know more about this, please refer to the article. I won’t be going into any more details about DePalma, or Redacted. And one (probably more like two or three or more) could argue forever about what has happened, is happening, or never happened, to journalism as we know/knew it. And-and, quite Frank(Drebin!)ly, there are a lot of contentious issues surrounding the whole production of this film. I am more concerned, at present, with using DePalma’s main point as excuse for making fun of the New York Times.

It was Saturday morning…

…and in the opinion of ibiteyoureyes, Saturday morning is an important time for news reading (after cartoons are over). Sure, the majority of people probably get their news during the week, while eating breakfast with their wives or husbands before work, or while on the way to work, or while at work. And it’s great that they stay informed, and talk casually around the water cooler (a symbol that should have been changed to a coffee machine by now) while at work. Keeps you current.

But honestly, why do we read the news? Or watch the news? Simply to know it? Or to absorb it, so we can think about it, respond to it, judge for ourselves whether or not its important, to us and to…”the state of things?” In the opinion of ibiteyoureyes, there are many advantages to reading the paper, in print or online, on the weekend (assuming you are a ninetafiver) rather than during the week. Work crowds ya mind. Saturdays are better spent pondering important issues – because that’s the first thing that someone wants to do after working a full week. So turn off that Xbox, or send those kids to soccer, or drop the tissues and the lotion and close the lid of that laptop. And listen to my story. And then go think about the news before THE WEEK gets here.

It was Saturday morning…and what was the lead article on the New York Times site? Something to do with the Iraq war? Something about one of the several countries where genocide is still goin’ strong? Something more positive maybe, like one of the leading presidential candidate’s health care reform plans…or the breaking news that J.D. Drew cracked a smile? Nah.

They decided to go with this article…about a fashion designer in Japan who invented a vending machine dress for helping people to hide from assailants. And it gets better. For much of yesterday, this article was the most emailed article on the Times web site. I keep telling myself that this was because everyone else visiting the site saw it and agreed that it was silly. Probably, though, a bunch of rich people from Manhattan were shooting that thing around trying to find out how they could get one to protect their daughters…from flying Tom Welling impersonators.

Look (see! take off that Myvu!). I read the article. I had to. And I understand that there’s only so much eye-biting that you can do, when it comes to other cultures. But seriously. THIS WAS THE LEAD ARTICLE ON THE NY TIMES WEB SITE ON SATURDAY!

Can you spot which vending machine is the impostor? Here’s a hint, if you kick it for stealing your money, and it yells “Ouch!” it’s probably a Japanese woman hiding from muggers. Unless…maybe… it’s an evil, sentient Coke machine…pretending to be a Japanese woman hiding from muggers…

You know what? I don’t have anything left to say. I have a headache. I’m not even going to biteyoureyes. I’m just going to tell Brian DePalma on you – on everyone!

One Response to “Can you spot the impostor vending machine?”

  1. dailysalad Says:

    But what, exactly, is at stake in said photo? What is its punctum; how does it wound us?

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