Solidarity Forever

November 8, 2007

As the great Rabbi Dr. Professor Jurgen Haverstam, DHL pointed out in his very first post, Yesterday’s Salad is an indiscriminate supporter of any and all revolutions. So it is that several saladeers recently took part in a sympathy strike and went out to support their WGA brethren (even though that may mean the continued existence of YS’ 40th favorite new show of the season, Cavemen). Though we have once again taken to our keyboards (or, in the case of the Ciceronian, resumed hounding a baffled stenographer with his declaimations) and have begun to resume a normal “schedule,” this in no way means that we have turned into scabs (c’est a dire: Kerry Lightenberg). Rather, we will do whatever we can to help both the writers (who verily deserve increased shares of the pot; also, all those who wish to do their part should consider viewing the movie Newsies, probably the most accurate cinematic portrayal of the plight of the working class–with a singing and dancing Christian Bale–before getting involved) and society, who may never get to find out what happens between Ross and Rachel, Jim and Pam, Kate and Jack.

To that end, we bring you this footage of the new Beijing line 5:

and this awesome video/propaganda piece produced to inaugurate the Disneyland monorail (with special guest appearance from the nearly-handsome Vice-President, Richard Nixon):

I know that last video must have been hard for the fair people of Seattle. Only a few years after the planned Seattle Monorail was repealed, the massive infrastructure tax that would have supported Sound Transit expansions failed. Now Seattle residents find themselves in a double bind: no new “Office” episodes after next week, and no end to congestion in sight. And their basketball team is probably leaving town.

But cheer up Seattlites: life isn’t all sadness (and rain)! After all, there are still a few days of National Split Pea Soup Week left, and Sunday brings National Vanilla Cupcake day. Perhaps even an end to the strike? Who, I ask, could strike in the face of something so beautiful as national vanilla cupcake day?

Pro amicitia

November 8, 2007

Many times, it has indeed been said, that I speak too much of the great and glorious days of times past, in which there were men of unquestionable character, hard moral fortitude, repressed Freudian desires, and the means to withstand all the vices which the world was able to throw at them. While I think this not an unreasonable attempt, the particular flavor of current audiences seems to now allude me, I find myself, Me, the Ciceronian, entrapped in my own meshes of words which lead me to the conclusion, that neither basketball, nor rhetoric, nor censuring the pursuits of overly soft men is it of any advantage of any sort to me, instead, allow me rather to regale you with a brief description of current events and news, to be concise, a History of My Times and those directly Contemporaneous.  But one might say, and one most wise, might indeed say that the things of which I speak are of great moral benefit to them, for indeed I speak not merely for my own enjoyment, but to produce in all you most wise and awesome readers and commentators the sorts of moral virtues which may indeed be beyond reproach. Fear not wise men, against whom the vices of modernity have not yet triumphed. Let us together, join as one to bring back the pristine state of purity that so characterized the latter days, where ancient and good right, looked forward to times made pure by simplicity, more strong and courageous foes to conquer, and lacking of sophistry and artistry which have so come to characterize our very thoughts and actions, in particular, when one could plunge hands into the deep and lovely fertile soil of Italy, as yet made not more rich by the blood of Italians. You may think I have too long spoken, yet I come now at last to the crux of my point. O ye foolish heirs of the Roman power in our land, why do ye kill each other? Why does blood run red in the streets, in the restaurants, in the cars, and at the gas station? Has enough blood been not yet shed, do you not read of the terrible wars our folk have brought against each other? Indeed, I must protest in the strongest terms, that still you and your capos continue to fight for the paltry scraps of little things, heirs to the great and glorious goodness of the republic, indeed, all may yet be good for you here, even though you speak the half bastardized native tongue, now fully gone! O Italians, I call upon you to unite, to train your weapons upon the barbaroi, to make great the promise of all that was ever of manly strength and virility and strength in our land. Why fight and die upon the streets, one for something small, the other for something even less? Allow not the heavy friendships which characterized our darkest age, and carried away all into the abyss of placid Augustanity once more lead to our own destruction. Rather, let there be peace among all the Roman race, and let not the unholy gore of Remus run once more through alien streets.

There is a man whose vision is sufficiently sweeping and epic to give the proper weight and sophistication to such a classic storyline. Superman is a man among men, a reluctant fighter who has been wronged by the evil powers-that-be on Krypton.  What we need is a man whose aesthetic is violent, but who creates stories apotheosizing the heroics of individuals in the face of imperious forces. It should be abundantly clear that the man to write the next Superman is Mel Gibson.

Mr. Gibson has made such films a calling card.  Whether it be William Wallace bare-assing the British or whatever the name of that guy he plays in The Patriot using a hatchet to hack up…um…the British, Gibson knows how to showcase heroism in the face of violent and trying times.  This in no way implies Sir (knighted by the Australian Parliament) Mel’s range is in any way limited.  Apocalypto represented a departure whereby an individual from one tribe tries to save his family from the evil other tribe.  There weren’t any British people in that movie at all.  Well, not that I know of (I never actually saw it).

As a fan, I believe this could be the vehicle for Gibson’s comeback.  Superman’s  story offers Gibson an opportunity to resuscitate the Judeo-Christian tradition he loves so well.  Kal-el, clearly of Jewish origin, will be clay in the hands of the potter, and Gibson will deftly transform a Jewish folk hero, forever lost in translation, into an ecumenical symbol.  At long last Superman will be a universal hero.  At the very least it will be awesome to see Lex Luthor get his Aramaic-speaking ass handed to him in bloody pieces.