Bill Belichick Sucks
November 19, 2007
As a yeke I am not known for having a temper. I have been called aloof, distant, cold, and accept these as fair assessments of my character. However, I was brought to a state this evening that bordered on the perturbed as I, Haverstam, felt myself getting flustered. On two separate occasions the New England Patriots decided to “go for it” (in the parlance of our times) on 4th down despite being up by 25 or more points. Bill Belichick has incurred the disdain of an old German-speaking Professor.
With a penchant for obsessively watching film and for harping on players’ negative performances, Mr. Belichick is an awful stereotype come to life – a child brings home a 98 on an exam and he inquires as to the whereabouts of the two points.
For shame, Mr. Belichick:
1) After a viewing of his daughter’s wedding video Mr. Belichick holds a family meeting in order to inform his wife how she might have been a better hostess, belittles his daughter’s taste in wedding dress and men, and rebukes the caterer for not even knowing how to properly wrap a pig in a blanket.
2 ) After viewing “Citizen Kane” Mr. Belichick reportedly called Orson Welles and his cinematographer Gregg Toland and, taking them through shot by shot, tore the film apart.
3) After viewing and reviewing video of his wife’s ultrasound, Mr. Belichick screamed at his unborn child, accusing the embryo of lacking hustle, focus, and dedication.
Put a suit on you hobo-looking jerk. Mike Nolan should get to punch you in the face whenever he wants.