Who we be

January 16, 2008

I’m not interested in the blog stats. Just the game. And eighth century love poems to the Almighty. So when the Chief told me he’d find a berth for me I jumped. I escaped a roach infested hole in which Furrypaws and I lived and worked ourselves into oblivion, our one lasting achievement being a fleeting communion with the spirit of Rick Ross. But the Chief put me on ice for months, as a contributor, through the course of which I gained a g.

Mostly though, I’m on the Wire. To hell with the JT ban, let the Ciceronian say what he will about uneducated foolishness. The bots over at Slate seem to find Season 5 pretty mediocre and in so doing, having pissed off David Simon. We aim for significantly less and will do our best to ignore any characters from Season 2, prompting an official rebuke by the Chief, in response to which we will no longer support him in the Green Party Primary of Wyoming, thereby halving his constituency.

Our approach to the Wire is simple. We divide into two. Things that Furrypaws would like and the things that he would dislike, the foremost of which is probably that I am writing this post.

Shit thats good:

-The credits: perhaps the second best Wire theme song, being surpassed solely by the first season.

-Evil Carcetti: Ok so we all know that in the Simoniverse, all politicians are corrupt and they all make the wrong choices. At least the beloved Carcetti has an out. It is clear that his fall into corruption has been brought about by the little white accountant dude who is clearly Satan.

– The journalism subplot: the Slaters don’t really find this to cliche, they say that the characters are stock newsroom characters and its an interminable waste of Wire watching time. While it is by far not the most exciting subplot I’ve ever seen, it fulfills a particular Simonian didactic function. The esteemed Wirologists over at heavenandhere.wordpress.com consistently look for the underlying lessons which the Wire offers, a not uncompelling reading of the show as a whole. Season 1 is the most blatant example of this, in which the viewer is led by the hand through the process of criminal investigation. Here, Simon’s purpose is similar, to show us how news is made. In your eye, Slaters!

– Chris Partlow and Snoop: I’ve sort of jumped on the band wagon, I still hate that fuck Marlow for killing Bodie, but their jolly attitude towards homicide is both contagious and didactic.

-Herc: plots revolving around sneaky Jews have been conspiciously lacking up to this point.

-Beadie Rusell is hott!

Shit thats bad:

-McNulty and the homicide plot: Truly, I never thought that I would say this, but I could do with a little less Mcnutty and his merry band of detectives. Season 4 introduced a diversity of characters whose storylines were followed through for every episode. This is most definitely not the case in Season 5, in which we’ve already gone two episodes without seeing Cutty, Colvin, Omar, Poot, Randy, or even Prez.

-Avon: It just seems unnecessary. So what if he sets up a meeting with Sergei some guy? There is not a lot of room for his character, except for random cameos which merely fulfill our nostalgia for the Barksdale days.

-Bubbles-its just miserable looking at the poor bastard, does he have to be dragged through the shit every season?

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