Although I’ve written a lot about Drew Carey recently, today’s post will not be an paean to the ponderous Power host (nor, for that matter, will it have anything to do with “liquor and foreign language speaking,” our recent search engine mastery of said phrase notwithstanding…butwithawhimper). Rather, inspired by the eyebiter’s apprection of 30 Rock (many of his points align with some of my own views), I’d like to vivify (To render more animated or striking) a recent top-10 list featured on the incomparable aviation.com: the top-10 easiest U.S. airports to get to.

Overall, aviation.com is probably pretty accurate in the sense that most of the airports on the list should probably be on there. That said, the list is rife with inaccuracies. Here is their description of transport hither and tither Chicago’s O’Hare aeroport: “The Airport Transit System (ATS) is a free train that connects all terminals to a Metra subway/train station. You can take the Metra to numerous locations in downtown Chicago.” Aviation.com, it would seem, has conflated two separate modes of transport, the Metra and the CTA Blue Line, both of which serve the airport. In fact, the Blue Line, which runs 24/hrs a day (at least for now), is the far superior option for commuters, especially as the CTA is finally making traction on that pesky slow-zone problem.

Aviation’s number one aeroport is Boston’s Logan. Served by both the Blue Line and the Silver Line, the local BRT, Logan is well-served by public transport. In fact, 30% of all passengers to Logan use public transit, second only to San Francisco (aviation’s #3). While Dash is a staunch believer in converting the Washington street branch of the Silver Line to light rail, the airport branch is actually quite efficient, and a very successful BRT line. Of course, the number one reason the line works is the exclusive right-of-way for much of its route, something most BRT lines surely lack.

Still, the best possible way to get to any of these aeroports would be a flight on the new A380.

071025-a380-suites-02.jpg

Dash’s private suite–for review purpose only

Hopefully one of these beautiful planes will fly to America soon. But, until then, there’s always Emirates air with its less loverly/more plebeian first-class suites.

Pro Transico

October 22, 2007

With a new rhetorician on board, one would expect that Dash’s-nay, all of our argumentive (obs. argumentative) abilities would increase, that all the saladeers would embrace the new order of panegyrics and symbolic language, that all saladeers would rise to the level of our classically trained brother and enter into a new bond with the readers, self-adjuring (to bind under the penalty of a curse. Obs.) to a higher level of discourse. Sadly, this will not be the case. Dash will continue to hoot ( intr. To behave in a loutish or irresponsible way; spec. to drive fast or recklessly–specifically irresponsible for Dash as he has no Driver’s License) and wade into the waters of discourse beyond his depth and breadth.

But even in subjects where Dash has a passing familiarity (c’est a dire, decolonialization, scholarly editing, post-colonial feminist thought, and basket weaving) the limits of knowledge are sometimes strained. For example, Dash cannot account for the continued intellectual cock-blocking of Communist regimes (lehavdil). Everyone knows about Pyongyang’s secret metro system, but pictures and videos are hard to come by. And while it was announced that Beijing will concurrently build 6 new metro lines for completion by 2012, no other information is really known about the expansion. Will the lines continue to be the cheapest in the world, for example? Or, much more importantly, where will they run? Will the right of way be exclusive, or will it be shared?

With space at a premium the world around, perhaps China should consider placing their new railways in the middle of a market, like the good folks in Bangkok.

Personally, I’d like to see such innovative right-of-way sharing practiced in the U.S. Maybe Houston, which just pulled the transit upset of the century and announced plans to build five new light rail lines by 2012 instead of unlikely-t0-be-efficient-BRT, could experiment with such a right-of-way arrangement. Or better yet, perhaps Mr. Drew Carey can convince his private enterprise friends to finance such a scheme, helping private enterprise get customers directly to the markets and the world.