Every blog has its day in the sun. Every blog also has its day in the shade, and for us that day was yesterday. After being the darling of the New New Media for a few fortnights, YS’ traffic has suddenly become more like the darjeeling limited: a lot of primping, a lot of quirkiness, and the occasional mark of genius. I can only posit a few reasons for our sudden decline:

1) The Oscars hypothesis: We’d picked up a lot of readers looking for semi-literate film reviews and oscar odds, but with Dash out campaigning for the Biden-Thompson unity ticket, we’ve recently become negligent in our duties as source. So, to correct: YS went 4/5 on picture nominees missing Michael Clayton (we picked Into the Wild). What happened?

a) Into the Wild was not that good. As with Dreamgirls last year, academy voters will ultimately recognize that a movie is not that good (I hope). Then again, these are the same people who nominated Titanic, Return of the King, The Accidental Tourist, and The English Patient. I really don’t know what captivated America about that movie. In the years since, everyone has become Elaine.

b) Never believe the buzz. Atonement (which we picked) seemed down for the count about a week and a half ago, and Juno also seemed on the ropes. In their place: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (review to come) and, yes, Into the Wild. When push comes to shove, go with the movie your mom and dad told you you had to see.

c) Never pet against the Clooney. Not when the movie is really good.

d) And the best movies the academy probably never considered nominating were: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Superbad, Knocked Up, Meduzot, and King of Kong.

2) The Heath Ledger hypothesis: I’m not going to say much about the death of Mr. Ledger, who really was quite an excellent actor. In fact, the only person upon whose death we have given comment is Jean Baudrillard. I actually think that Mr. Baudrillard would be rather pleased with the way people are responding to Mr. Ledger’s death. A woman in the times claimed that she felt she knew him. Celebrities really are that close to us these days. But Baudrillard would probably be most interested in this: emails from the dead!

3) The Mandrake hypothesis: with America divided, Americans want to know whom to vote for, and who won’t be president. One man gave them answers. Whither?

Look to the Source

December 5, 2007

Even though I felt quite ill, I decided to spend my day doing something good for society (even though society is always the villain), and watched Fast Food Nation, one of the more unlikely movies to reach that big silver screen in quite some time. In fact, it was so unlikely that no-one went to see it. As anyone who has ever read the book can tell you, Fast Food Nation, the classic piece of yellow journalism about the acherontic (“Of or belonging to Acheron [a river of hell], infernal; hence, dark, gloomy”) processed food industry, is unfilmable. There is nothing resembling a plot, nor is there even an anti-plot. Its unclear whence some producer derived the idea of turning this expose into a movie, but it probably goes something like this: Supersize Me=no-name director+social consciousness+McDonalds=Big Hit, e.g. Fast Food Nation=indie-cred director+almost star cast+speeches+Avril Lavigne=Really Big Hit.

Though it often veers from the course of the book, the movie does stay close to the source material in one very important aspect: it also has no story. Rather, like Traffic, Syriana, and any other “hyperlink” film it has multiple disconnected storylines. Unfortunately for Fast Food Nation, these never connect in any meaningful (nay, transparent!) way. It doesn’t help that the movie’s most dramatic, tension-filled scene is a conversation between Bruce Willis and Greg Kinnear at a Burger Joint, where Bruce Willis plays the villain and offers a speech about the tyranny of poorly operated grills and the pansyfication of the American consumers. While Dash is all for peaceful resolution (Vote Biden!), really, what is the point of having Bruce Willis in your movie if he isn’t going to blow something up, or at least punch someone to death? Would a Fast Food Nation starring Bruce Willis as an animal-rights activist forced to take measures into his own hands really have been that much worse?

While Fast Food Nation didn’t succeed, Hollywood still has love for strange source material, viz: one day we may see Leonardo DiCaprio as a man who makes incredible snap-decisions in Blink, an adaptation of the Malcolm Gladwell penned bestseller about people who make excellent snap-decisions. Besides, who can forget Adaptation? But with all these wonderful, unfilmable, non-fiction properties running around, how is a studio executive to choose? A few suggestions, close to Yesterday’s Salad’s heart.

1 ) Archive Fever: Updating the late Jacques Derrida’s late classic about archives, Freud, and Yosef Hayyim Yerushalmi’s Freud’s Moses, is almost too easy. Bonus: the movie would prove exceedingly marketable; as I mentioned last week, Archive Fever sort of allows for the existence of Ghosts. As I see it, Archive Fever: The Movie would be the story of a young archivist at the Freud museum in London who, whilst researching Dr. Freud’s Jewishness, begins to see Freud’s ghost. Bewildered, he seeks out help from Professor Yerushalmi, who has long been searching for a way to communicate with Freud. Professor Yerushalmi is the only one who believes our young archivist and endeavors to help him (think Martin Landau in Rounders). Meanwhile, our young archivist begins seeing an older analyst (Mimi Rogers?) only to develop romantic feelings (bordering on an oedipal complex) for her. But in the end, only the specter of Dr. Freud can help. Think Ghost meets Analyze This. Read the rest of this entry »