NOTE: This is a blog post dedicated to ridiculing Heroes, particularly Season 2 of Heroes. If this sounds despicable to you, don’t read this blog post. If it seems despicable to you and you’re going to read it anyway, please note that there are a few mistakes in the post – something that the author has admitted in the comments section. If you came here looking for information on Season 3 of Heroes, it’s not here, and it never will be. When someone says that they are going to fix something that doesn’t yet exist – with a gun – it’s usually safe to assume that that person is joking in some way, shape, or form.

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For a few episodes, it seemed as if Heroes might rescue itself from the slow stupid suckage that has been its second season. This past week’s episode, however, plus another clause, was probably the single worst of Heroes’s’s’s short history. Probably, this is because it dealt not with a handful of worsening characters with worsening storylines, but two handfuls of worsening characters with worsening storylines.

Moreover, the show creators have not followed the advice that I offered in this post. A-hem:

  1. Ali Larter is not dead. Kill her. I don’t like her. I’m not sure anyone else does either.
  2. Hiro might as well still be stuck in ancient Japan, for all you are doing with him.
  3. Peter Petrelli is back, thank you for that. But instead of kicking ass, he is just turning into a dummy.
  4. Sylar is back to being a baddie, but instead of rediscovering his power, he has discovered how to be Darth Sidius.

In regards to number three on that list, let me just say that Peter is not the only character getting dumber by the episode. Everyone is getting dumber, if not in what they say and do then in what THEY DO NOT DO WITH THEIR SUPERPOWERS!

Case(s of beer) in point:

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Writer’s Note: See this post for an update on the sad state of Heroes.

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I spend an awful lot of time on this site biting more eyes than I can chew. This is not going to change anytime soon. Every once in awhile, however, something happens that makes the eyebiter…smile.

Like taking responsibility for your crap, something that Heroes creator Tim Kring seems to be doing.

My thoughts on this:

  1. It’s a big step just to admit that your show sucks, even if you make this admission gently and/or with tact. Most actor/directors/entertainment types, if they do this, do it well after the fact, when the show is over or the movie has made its run. Those who don’t wait sometimes lose their jobs, so I don’t necessarily blame them for their silence. Admittedly, it’s probably easier to admit that your show sucks when you’re the creator (and when you’re on strike) but, hey, at the very least, Tim Kring’s eyes are safe for now. If I had enjoyed Season One of Heroes a little more than I did (I liked it, and I got a little sucked in, but I wasn’t shocked to see Season Two take a turn into Tanktown) I would have already chomped those ojos with such ferocity that he could have channeled Claire Bennet till he was Hank McCoy blue in the face and it wouldn’t have helped him.
  2. He basically hits on almost all of the major things that are wrong with Season Two. This includes: Not Tom Welling and Claire’s romance, Hiro’s way long unending infinite overstay in Japan (that goes on forever), the stinky new characters, and a lack of foreseeable connections between new story lines (made out of crap romances and stinky new characters) and the overall plot (whatever that is).

What else is wrong with Season Two?

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