The Rest of the World Wears Bifocals

A story broke yesterday that sent my stomach for a flip (although it could have been all the eyes that I bit – it was one of those days). Paul Newman essentially announced his retirement from acting.

Some info regarding Mr. Newman’s announcement can be found here, courtesy of The Movie Blog, courtesy of Good Morning America. The gist of it, though: Paul is finally, at 82, feeling old.

At first I was sad. I wanted to see that rumored “one more picture” (it would have been a picture, not a movie) that Mr. Newman and the one and only Robert Redford had discussed doing, if the right script came along. That rumor eventually spawned a title, hinting that a script might have been found, but I forget what that title was and now I don’t care.

At this point I should explain that I have been mentally preparing myself for Paul Newman’s umm…retirement…for about three years now. I know he’s been “old” for longer than that – but he’s just not a man you believe will…retire. That should illustrate just how much Paul Newman’s very living-breathing existence means to me on a day-to-night-to-day-to-night basis. To take it one step further: this is almost exactly how I feel about my grandfather.

Look (see! put on ya bifocals!) ibiteyoureyes has never denied it – he’s a throwback when it comes to books, movies…American culture. And that’s not a grammatical error, I often feel like I am actually connected to such older materials, and, thus (thus on the bus Gus) consider myself a part of said (here lies Fred, he is dead) “throwback” movies, books, culture. This is why my favorite poem is Miniver Cheevy. Not even a great poem – but it’s all I got.

Except I also have Paul. Many of us have Paul. And now, he’s retiring. Because he’s tired. Because he’s old. And I don’t blame him. It’s an unsurprisingly class move. And not many people in the modern era have even been in the position to make such a move.

I’m sure the articles will start soon. “Paul’s hung em’ (boots, pistols, cue sticks, etc) up. He’s tired. I love Paul. Here’s a list of all his movies, along with a few thinly veiled self-serving lines about why I, [insert name of writer] loved them.”

And you know what? That’s fine.

The Yesterday’s Salad Guide to Decorating Your Home

Ever since the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer decorates his apartment with the set of the old Merv Griffin show, I’ve wanted to have my very own TV living room. Well, the wait just may be over: someone has decided to sell the set to TV’s Family Feud on ebay! Even better, it’s only at $275. Sadly, shipping is estimated at $5000, but you can’t put a price on true happiness anyway.

While the Family Feud set is tempting, here are the sets I’m holding out for: Lovey and Thurston Howell III’s hut from Gilligan’s Island; Death Star trash compacter; Wayne’s basement; the Oval office from The West Wing.